Dos Equis Redux (AKA: "A Nice Merlot")

Anytime a conversation turns to the subject of a TV show; she quickly calls attention to herself, and takes a quiet moment to look down her nose at everyone in the room, just before boldly boasting the intellectual elitist battle cry: “I don’t have a television!”

In a facebook comment she announced that rather than milk and cookies, Santa would be having stake and martinis at her house.

Where cinema is concerned, she only watches documentaries… but still cannot resist the impulse to say “The book was much better”

Regardless of the widely accepted convention of Capitalizing the First Letter of most Non-conjunctive Words which appear on a Posted Sign, she is suing Caltrans for gross grammatical violations.

She actually goes few places and does nothing which is beyond her very narrow zone of comfort. But don’t bore her with the details of anything, because in most cases she has somehow “been there” and “done that”.

She is… The most pretentious bitch in the world.

“I do not always drink wine… But when I do, I prefer a nice merlot.”

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I’m amazed at what stupid shit people get up in arms about so that they can get on the news

About that kid who got suspended for the Swiss army knife…
All the "wnaaa wnaaa wnaaa" about how the kid was so overly punished. And the school this and the kid that.

What about the parents! Yes, the “camping tool” had a fork and a spoon in it - and every Cub Scout in America has one. But guess what? I don’t care if that “camping tool” had a lolly pop and a bottle of sun tan lotion in it, the fact remains that it had a fucking knife in it.

The parents sent their kid to school with a knife. Regardless of how many harmless bells and whistles and confetti and balloons and condoms were wrapped around it, it’s still a knife. The parents sent their kid to school with a knife. And if the school had reacted any differently than they did, then they would no longer have a rule against bringing weapons to school, because they would have just created a gaping loop hole.

duh.

Oh my God

Someone actually gets it.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=112968197

Origins of "original" art

So I was listening to the radio dj talk about a band getting sued by another band for the similarity of a melody used in a popular song… blah blah blah. Then he continues on the general subject of musicians ripping each other off. And it gets me thinking about all the other blah blah blah that I’ve heard people accusing various artists of all the way back to the Baroque era. And people who make these sorts of criticisms seem to be so proud of themselves for pointing these things out.

So here’s the deal. Everything is derivative! Art is an expression based upon inspiration. Inspiration comes in all forms. Limitlessness is the nature of art. Art's inspiration comes from all places: from personal experience to personal fantasies to God’s creations and yes to other artist’s creations. It’s okay. Art begets art. This is also the nature of art. Really, it’s okay. Everyone can settle the fuck down and just enjoy the show.

Are you completely fucking stupid?

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If you answer yes to any of these questions, you are at best, believing some misinformation.

If you answer yes to at least (2) of these questions, you may suffer from a chronic willingness to accept urban legend as fact, for the purpose of adding comfort or support to your related political preconceptions.

If you answer yes to (3) or more of these questions, it is likely that you are completely fucking stupid.

1. Do you believe that Al Gore ever actually claimed to have invented the internet?

2. Do you believe that most of the televised comments made by politicians are based in fact and presented in non-deceptive context?

3. Do you believe that at least 25% of the comments made by talk radio hosts are based in fact and presented in non-deceptive context?

4. Do you believe that any Democratic healthcare proposal includes anything about “Death Panels”?

5. Do you believe that the President’s birth certificate is a fake?


Thank you for participating in this survey. You have done your Country a great service.
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Is your mind paralyzed by your brain?

The difference between learning and assimilating information

There are those who are undoubtedly smart individuals by various definitions of the word smart but at the same time are actually less evolved than others and are the lesser equipped to understand certain things.

Important things: such as the fact that there exists a radical difference between the progressive achievement of learning something and the lateral act of assimilating information. While a person may have a tremendous capacity for assimilating information they may have an incredibly limited ability to actually learn things which are truly new to them or even slightly beyond the scope of their comfort zone.

Where I believe a large part of their handicap lies is in their tendency to arrive at predetermined conclusions about subjects, as if to justify their actions. Or as they otherwise attach their identity to preconceived ideas which they are simply trying to prove or disprove to themselves and others. So as they harvest data, very quickly and efficiently and in great masses, they are not exposing themselves to the information for the purpose of learning new things or exploring new ideas and possibilities – but rather they are selectively gathering testimony like a lawyer at a deposition.

…Cherry picking the parts which can be slipped in a context which supports their case; to prove their point – their predetermined conclusion about the subject.

Therefore, while this guy endlessly rattles off loads and loads of information on a subject in great detail, articulating in a manner in which he is clearly impressing himself and perhaps impressing others, he is only reciting data without any demonstration of actual knowledge. And he really would be of much greater benefit to himself and to those in his proximity if he would from time to time simply shut the fuck up.

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A side bar...

…on the right wing campaign for the de-evolution of society, addressed to those whom have not yet been convinced that the Earth is flat.

With each knuckle dragging step toward its most primitive base; as the Republican Party continues to more clearly define it’s self as a seething ball of hatred - armed with nothing but manipulation, hypocrisy and a viral ability to spin McCarthyistic paranoid hysteria into urban legends, I want to take a moment to remind everyone that it’s all going to be okay.

Nature is powerful. Just as the the early monkeys could not stop the evolution of primates;



these monkeys, despite all their poop throwing and cage rattling, will not stop the evolution of our society.



So keep trudging forward

and have a nice day.

Nazi Healthcare?

It’s settled. The debate is over. There is not a shred of doubt left. The evidence is gargantuan, concrete and empirical. Now that so many conservatives so passionately believe that American healthcare reform is actually a gateway drug to the next Nazi holocaust, there is no argument left. Because with this latest campaign of uber-nonsense they have finally confessed! The Conservatives have officially, purely and unapologetically declared themselves completely, deeply, and fundamentally stupider than fuckin’ shit.
It has even been entered into the dictionary:

con·ser·va·tive  \kən-ˈsər-və-tiv\ –adjective

1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind.
2. slow of mind; obtuse; given to unintelligent decisions or acts; acting in an unintelligent or careless manner; lacking intelligence or reason; brutish.
3. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless
4. tediously dull, esp. due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless
5. stupider than fuckin’ shit.

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STAR TREK

The Redemption


So... I reckon a whole lot of different trekkies set the bar of expectations in a bunch of different places. For me - I set a hopeful goal for this new Star Trek movie. The goal imposed by my hopes upon the makers of this film was for it to redeem the once great Star Trek legacy from the tragic wreckage of the television series Enterprise. Now just to make sure we’re all on the same page here - raise your hand if you believe that one of the biggest mistakes in television history was the failure to kill off Captain Archer in the middle of season one. I’m sure many would respond that Archer should have been killed off in the middle of the first episode or first scene even.

Anyhow, I don’t need to spiral into an epic rant about Archerprise. The point is that so much about the legacy of Star Trek is a uniquely beautiful thing, that it would have been a truly heartbreaking tragedy if no one were to lift it from the ashes which I need not describe further. Well… Thank the slain Klingon gods, the Bejoran profits and every deity in-between, this great redemption has been achieved.

With such a steady hand this film was soberly crafted with what seemed to be the deliberate objective of conquering its vast and formidable challenges without appearing to face challenges. Leonard Nimoy’s presence was written and presented as tastefully and powerfully as his influence was felt. The portrayal of the original bridge crew characters was contemporary and fresh - without pretending that the originals did not exist. And the measure of similarities and direct references which were included was perfect: Enough to satisfy our appetite for homage but tapping the breaks before plowing into fromage. And how awesome is the parallel reality/alternate timeline? It always bothered me when things were written into Star Trek episodes that conflicted with Star Trek history. But now this is no longer a problem… Clean slate. Cheating? Sure. But as this film reminds us, cheating is Captain Kirk’s style.

And for those of us in the “Captain Archer ruined Star Trek” camp… Nicely done on the Archer’s prize beagle transporter accident. A subtle, perfectly measured and executed jab – which for me was one of many fine jewels in this spectacular crown. To the same depth of conviction that I wish for those responsible for Archerprise to have their genitalia eaten by rabid Cardassian voles, I do sincerely wish for the makers of this film to live long and prosper.

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Clip Wings or Cut Noses

No one owns the anger. All tax payers and politicians of all political persuasions are furious about the AIG bonus pay outs. Unfortunately, too many years of too little regulation have tied our hands to a train that’s headed for a collapsed bridge. Sure, we all agree that it would feel good to say fuck AIG, and let it burn… But is running the business of our nation based on our feelings the best idea? Wasn’t it our blind fury about 9/11 that kept far too many of us out of touch with the fact that Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11? We could keep making the mistake of navigating by anger. We could cut off the country’s nose to spite AIG’s face. Or we could do what is distasteful but necessary now, while we endure the “feeling” that we’re rewarding the culprits, and later we can responsibly punish the culprits by clipping their wings.

If these corporations want to spit in the face of the tax payer by taking bailout money and passing it out in bonuses, let’s just remember that. We’ll keep our cool. Do what needs to be done to get through this mess… And then we’ll remember that spit in our face - and clip their wings so deeply that they will wish for nothing more so than the ability to go back in time to un-do the mistake of rubbing salt in our wounds. We can punish them plenty, by regulating the living crap out of them later. But let’s have the sense to get the tumor out of our body before we toss a grenade at it.

Touchdown!

Yeah, I know that sports analogies are done to death but I think I’m onto something here… The other day I was thinking about this inexplicable magnetism which persistently draws me toward the solution of any given situation. I was thinking about how this magnetism seems to be equal in strength to most peoples resistance to change. And as I shuffled through my general observations of strives toward solutions, something occurred to me in a powerful way.

I suddenly had a mental image of a guy running down a football field, carrying the football. And I imagined this guy weighing just one piece of evidence to determine whether or not he was actually running toward the goal. It was the singular fact that most of the people in his vicinity were trying to tackle him. And so the thought hit me – that one’s effort to arrive at the solution is very much like running for a touchdown. You know you’re headed for the solution because everyone’s trying to tackle you.

Either that or you're charging toward a cliff and your friends are trying to save you...
But hey, I guess you gotta take a chance!
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California

So, getting back to politics for a minute. I've been thinking about the Sacramento problem.

Now here's the thing. Our Governor gets it... Get to the fucking solution. Period. Unfortunately, he seems to be the only one there who gets it. We're at point A. The solution is at point B. And there are no partisan ideologies that lead to point B.

So here's what we've got to do. At our next opportunity, vote every incumbent out of the state congress. Seriously. I guarantee that if we just fired everyone in Sacramento, except for the Governor, we would see a radical improvement in the way our state is ran.